9 months

pheewww.. sembilan bulan sudah i berkawan dgn dia and its like "WHAT"?? is this SITI ZALEEFA AZREEN?? homaigod.. ok fine. i admit that. memang i x pernah berkawan dengan mana mana laki lama macam ni. this is my first time hokay.. my friends should be proud.. *muka bangga*
for a long time, i tak bcontact dgn besties i (secondary school) miss suliana  <3
just now, kitorang chat on fb and our conversation goes something like this:


me: aiee sue, rindu!
sue: aih aihh rindu juak! 
(we talked about something else and continued with this...)
sue: kau apa cite?
me:  mcm ni je laa.. meroyan sorang sorang
sue: meroyan? with whom? farhat ka? masih lagi??
me: yea, haha! masih masih.. 9 months!
sue: dah besar dah effa.. 9 months oh?
me: yea, macam x cayak jak..
sue: aku cabar kau. sampai setahun, nnti aku bgi rm10 CASH!
me: Shoottt hahaa.. up la ckit. rm20 ke, bru la rse tcabar..
(then continue with our nonsense betting...)


sigh! well, what can i say? this is cool man. i dont even know that i manage to be like this! boy, now you know right, what i meant by "you are the biggest impact on me" faham dah kan?? 
elok laa.. harap harap awak x sia sia kan hubungan kita ni. Serious cakap, saya sangat sangat sayang hubungan kita ni. banyak yang dah kita tempuhi bersama kan? 
sama sama la kita jaga hubungan kita ni ye cintaa.. :) 

sweetalker

when you were about in a depression and sadness, for sure you will looking for someone to share your sad story also your problems right? well, that was i did. when i was in sadness and crying all around, i would looking for someone to motivate me. memang laa, semua orang boleh pujuk and bagi nasihat kat kita. tapi sangat susah nak jumpa orang yang boleh return back your smile onto your face. he is a good friend i can say. always think positive and his life is just simple and sempoi. he is one of my childhood friend. tonight, when i was alone in my room and crying for a certain reason that i could not stated it here, i texted my sis and told her everything. of course, she persuade me with her words. i appreciate it a lot! yet, i still cant stop my tears falling around. but, once i saw this name appeared in my chatbox list. i think, why dont i ask him some question about men? maybe thru his answer, i can calm myself.. well, if we asked something weird upon someone for sure he felt awkward and can figure out what we were trying to do right? yes. he asked me what was happen and i told him.. he tried his best to persuade me with his convincing words (sweetalker! oh boy). and before he leave me, this sentence appeared and manage to draw a curve on my face.
"remember, you're the sweetest person on this entire reign.dun let the tears spoil it"
it is sweet right?? thank you friend! for being there when i need youuu.. THANK YOU!

S.O.M.E.T.I.M.E.S.

sometimes people tend to make us feel thousand feelings with their action and also their words.
if i have a super power, i would like to change people behaviour so that i would not be hurt.


sometimes, people reaction and words makes me feel like:
" i look like a fool. maybe sometimes u dont even realized what u had done and what u had said towards me. but please please please realize it through my face expression and my behaviour. sure, u are astute enough to recognize people changes right? or maybe u are the true fool one? -well, i dont know-"


sometimes, people reaction and words makes me feel like:
" i am bad enough for you. huh.. there is no perfect people in this world except for the Muslims Idol, Rasulullah S.A.W. do reflect yourself. think! please think if it is true that i deserved to be threaten like this? think think! where was ur manners gone? or else u never practiced it since you were born. pity you.."


sometimes, people reaction and words makes me feel like:
"i will lose my cool, man! why should u pretend to be kind in fact you are not? why do you need to do that? to attract others attention towards you? well hell. you are freak! *sorry.harsh word* but yes. you are freak. totally! :) "


well im actually have no reason posted this stupid entry. SOMETIMES, i wanna feel to curse people and saying those harsh words towards them. please do allow me. :p

Raya rayaaa

Assalamualaikum dan salam 1 malaysia.. (merdeka kan?)
hari ni dah masuk raya ke-4 dah and tahun ni x rasa mcm nak keluar beraya sangat pun. i keluar pun just ikut kawan2 je. teeheee.. satu perubahan dalam diri effa! harus dibanggai.. erkk! dibanggakan? ahh whatever laa.. tahun ni i just ada 3 helai baju raya. siang pakai baju raya baru, mlm pinjam baju mama. look mummy and daddy. anak dara mum and dad dah besar dah. dah boleh pakai baju kurung mama dah :)
oh yes.. i dont know why, most of my picture tahun ni my eyes kecik sebelah kiri! why?? i sakit mata or memang mata i kecik sebelah????


tengok nih!

here, it is not so obvious..

mata kiri..

hah! ambik kauu.. it is so obvious!

this is not cool taauuu..

peliks my eyes :'(

sad!

kenapa mata i?

Dugaan Ramadhan..

hye all.. stress buat assignment x la seterok apa yang tgh aku rasa sekarang ni. kalau masalah ni masalah aku sorang je xpe la jugak. tapi, masalah ni aku yang punca nya dan aku yang perlu bertanggungjawab atas semua yang berlaku. selagi kereta itu x siap selagi tu aku x boleh nak rasa tenang. dah la esok nak balik sarawak. kalau balik naik bas or keretaapi, mungkin aku boleh postpone dulu tiket tu. tp balik naik flight. susah aku nak cancelkan. nak tak nak terpaksa balik jugak. how if aku balik sebelum kereta tu siap? Ya Allah. nampak sangat aku ni orang yang x tahu nak menghargai, muka tembok, x bertanggungjawab. dah rosakkan barang orang blah macam tu je? sumpah sekarang x tahu nak buat apa dah. i am useless. i am nonsense. tahu susahkan orang je. dari dulu lagi memang suka susahkan orang. 
besar betul dugaan bulan puasa ni. sampai aku dah x tahu nak buat apa lagi. sekarang just perlu tabah dan tawakal kat Allah je. semua yang berlaku adalah atas kehendak Allah. impossible kita nak cakap "NO" "WHY". semua dah tertulis.. and if semua ini terjadi atas kecuaian aku sendiri, aku faham. tapi ini semua kecuaian orang lain. kenapa kereta tu jugak dia nak langgar? padahal ada beribu-ribu kereta kat jalan loke yew tu. kenapa kereta aku? kenapa masa itu jugak? kenapa tak seminit selepas tu or dua minit or tiga minit sebelum tu? kenapa? sampai kiamat pun x kan terjawab semua soalan ni. hanya Allah je yang tahu kenapa dan mengapa. kita sebagai hamba memang x layak langsung nak mempersoalkan bnda ni. now, sedikit sebanyak aku belajar nak terima kenyataan dalam hidup. belajar nak mengatasai masalah dan belajar macam mana bersabar dengan semua dugaan Allah. 
mungkin dengan cara ini Allah nak sedarkan kita yg lalai dlm solat. sekarang bila ada masalah, Allah jugak kita carik kan? sebab?? sebab kita tahu dengan izin Allah, something will happen x kira la baik or buruk. 
sekarang doa pada Allah yang perlu kita buat after all of the efforts that we have done.


to my friend, im so sorry troubled and puzzled you badly this time around. i know u are not strong enough to face all this. but i believe that, there is something that Allah wants to show us and we dont know what it is. so my dear friend, together we try to change ourselves and practicing Islam in our life. InsyaAllah..

malang x berbauu bucuk..

Assalammualaikum.. ALHAMDULILLAH sangat. boleh lagi tulis blog arini. everything seems worse for me today. and alhamdulillah la selamat petang tadi. tadi petang, after kelas saya and puteri pergi ke jalan tar naik kete tasha. saya yang drive, well it is not the first time i drove a car at KL. before ni pernah je drive kete kat KL. at jalan loke yew, macam biasa la kan bulan puasa ni jalan memang jam terok lah.. pergi balik sama je. to make it short, effa dah stop kete sbb jam kan, and suddenly 'boommm'.. something hit us at the back of the car. Ya Allah, tuhan je tahu apa yang aku rasa masa tu kot. dah la drive kete orang, kena langgar pulak tu. u guys just imagine ea, i punya kepala hit the stering. nasib baik ada tgn i kat stering tu, so impact dia x kuat sangat on my head. but deep in my heart, i felt like my heart beat stop for awhile. i cant breathing. nasib baik i pakai seatbelt, kalau tak mesti lagi kuat hentakan yang effa rasa. dah la lagi dua hari nak balik beraya. memang sedih sangat tadi. bersyukur sangat still diberi peluang untuk terus hidup sampai saat ni. until now, i am still traumatize. 
even kita dah bawak kete tu penuh hati-hati, tapi d sebab kelalaian dan kecuaian orang lain nyawa kita turut terancam tauu.. 

i just cant imagine how if i end my life at jalan loke yew.. so, before it is too late i want to apologise to all of my friends..


for both of my parents
mama n ayah. effa syg ktk duak. effa mintak maaf if sepanjang effa hidup effa slalu molah hal. slalu x dgr kata ktk. sorry mummy. sorry ayah. effa syg duak2. even family kita slalu jak ada masalah, but it never be a reason why i should hate you. mungkin suma ya dugaan dalam keluarga kita. mungkin dolok effa susah glak mok nerimak suma ya but now i can think further the beyond. iloveyouboth..


for my siblings
iloveyou abg gyan, abg gko n k.lin.. u guys are the best siblings ever in the world. u guys are awesome for me. sorry if adik bongsu tk slalu molah masalah and mintak duit selalu. hehe. after im gone, no worries. xkan ada gik org mintk2 duit takorg.. 


for my beloved one
awak, thanks for everything. sepanjang kita bkenalan ni saya selalu je buat masalah kan? selalu je buat perangai tp awak x penah complain apa2 pun.. Thanks tau awak. awak tlng jaga saya kat sini. saya minta maaf if sepanjang kita bkenalan ni, saya selalu buat awak terasa hati dan marah. MAAF! 


for my besties (tasha syamim furughi)
korang sahabat yang terhebat tauu.. perlu tahu itu!
sorry aku selalu sakitkan hati korang. sengaja or x sengaja.. sorry sorry..
halalkan mkn minum aku kat korang. sayang kornag sngt2


for all my friends
thanks for being my friend. iloveyou all.

Third day

Assalammualaikum dan salam satu Malaysia. (Bulan kemerdekaan kan?)
hari ini hari rabu and i am going to shop at jalan tar for this becoming eid. yayy me! i feel awesome now..
rasa rasa x lama lagi i dah nak meletuupp keluar darah merah banyak banyak ni. x pasal2 rasa macam nak marah je. adoi.. wa mau baca yassin on the 2nd day of eid.. last year pun x pg lawat kubur atok and paknek.. 
oh yes. talking about Eid, my besties (juju) have a new hair style. golong golong and it is so comel! sumpah i jealous ok. and i terasa macam nak buat jugak!! nak perm hair jugak. ok im poser. so what??

look at this! awesome right..

this kind of perm is no longer lasting. ssh sngt nak jaga and our hair have to  be in wet always.
AND that is not cool~

this kind of perm~ hermm, looking good and nice  right after we
did it. lepas tu hancuss

this one comel. perm kat hujung2 rambut je..

this one is so cool hokey! i dore this hair style...

tapi kan, itu duluu.. sekarang i nak jadi wanita bertudung *cough cough* semua tu dugaan Allah je nak uji I whether i betul2 nak berubah or tak. so budak, awak kena kuat tauu.. dugaan dugaan.

pakai tudung pun cool and comel ape~

i wear no contact lens.. mata asli..

oh my! look at my lips. not so cool

*ok dont comment anything about the colorful font above. well, bulan kemerdekaan kan? haruslaa semangaaatt :)